Saturday, October 31, 2026

Houdini's First Diary Reveals a Lost World of Turn-of-the-Century Magic

From nationalgeographic.com 

The little red book, which contains Harry Houdini's recently deciphered notes, charts his rise as a performer and the key role of his wife, Bess, in turning his act from dime-store vaudeville into international stardom

In 1977, a 13-year-old named John Cox received his dream Christmas present: a coffee-table book by the era’s most famous magician—a TV star named Doug Henning—which chronicled never-before-seen photographs and news clippings of Harry Houdini, acquired from the master illusionist’s niece. The gift was by far the most thrilling addition to the teenager’s library, and, upon receiving it, Cox got so excited he threw up.

In the years to come, Cox would become a walking encyclopaedia of Houdini’s life as he pursued a day job as a screenwriter and film tech in Los Angeles. But he often wondered about one of the pictures in the book: It showed four pages from Houdini’s earliest-known diary, beginning in 1897. Information about the magician’s early life was rare, and as Houdini became famous, he’d often changed the details of his origin story, inserting exaggerations and fictions to bolster his mystique. Like the time he claimed he’d been shot in the hand by gamblers who tried to force him to pick the lock of a casino door in Kansas. (As with much of Houdini lore, this story has never been proven—nor entirely disproven.)

After his death, historians struggled to parse the truth from Houdini’s self-invented mythology. But there, in Henning’s tome, was a tantalizing artefact, filled with miniscule handwriting that seemed to be inscribed in code. Cox suspected the illegible scrawl disguised the great magician’s private thoughts and memories. But it would be more than 30 years before he discovered what was inside.

What Cox didn’t know at the time was that the petite datebook, bound in dark red fabric, had become a holy Houdini grail for a small and tight-knit community of magic aficionados. For years it was guarded by a collector named Stanley Palm, who occasionally opened his doors to serious biographers—though they found the book inscrutable. In 2004, Palm put the diary up for auction. Swann Galleries, based just off Madison Square Park, was set to sell it in October that year, and gossip columnist Cindy Adams, writing for the New York Post, joked that it “should bring $60,000 if it doesn’t disappear by then.” Bidding was heated, and competitors battled it out until one emerged victorious with a bid of $41,400.

To crack open the mysteries of Harry Houdini's first diary, a team of superfans assembled to hunt down obscure references and cross-check its contents with newspaper archives. Their efforts revealed a forgotten universe of trapeze acts, "hose teams," and travelling vaudeville.

The Collection of Dr. Bruce J. Averbook, The Averbook Magic Art Museum and Library, Cleveland Ohio

The winner, surgical oncologist and Ohio-based magic collector Bruce Averbook, knew the diary was special. When he first held the miniature book, he felt a thrill—maybe a little of Houdini’s DNA was still on its pages, he thought. The entries began in 1897 when Houdini was still a scrappy variety show performer touring a circuit of dime museums and small theatres. They ended in 1899, just as the magician was catching his first big break. He’d never updated the diary further but saved it for decades, along with a number of other scrapbooks and journals. When the magician died suddenly at age 52 of appendicitis—on Halloween in 1926—the little red journal passed to his wife, Bess. After she passed away in 1943, her possessions were spread out among her five sisters, and the diary eventually ended up with Stanley Palm, a collector and friend of the family.

After Averbook bought the diary, he also found it nearly impossible to decipher. Its entries were a jumble of shorthand, nicknames, and abbreviations. (A typically mysterious one, jotted down at the Sea Breeze Palace in Coney Island in 1897, read: “One of the 3 nudos fell from traps.” Another simply said: “Visited Insane asylum with [illegible] and Jenkins.”) Some of the words had been lost to time, and whole sections had been erased and rewritten in cramped, slanted script.

As the years passed, Averbook puzzled over the diary, which lived in an archival box at his house, and occasionally went on display at his lavish private magic museum. He also loaned it out to other exhibits on Houdini—including one at the Skirball Center in Los Angeles in 2011, which caught the eye of John Cox. Nearly 35 years after he’d first learned of the diary in his Christmas book, Cox gazed at it with his own eyes. He childhood excitement was revived. “I instantly knew that was something unique,” he recalls, “something that tells a larger, deeper story about a time shrouded in mythology.”

It would take another decade for Averbook to retire from his surgical practice, decide he was ready to crack Houdini’s code, and contact magic historian Mike Caveney, who runs a small magic book imprint in Southern California. Caveney, in turn, assembled a team from the magic world, a group of people so obsessed by the art of illusion, and by Houdini himself— including Cox, who runs the popular blog Wild About Harry—that they might tap into the vaudevillian’s mind and figure out his secret script. If they succeeded, the reward for their troubles was potentially stupendous: an unprecedented look at the young, ambitious Ehrich Weiss just before he exploded into stardom and rebranded himself as the “King of Handcuffs,” the great Harry Houdini. They called the project Escaping Obscurity.

Harry Houdini's very first diary chronicles the magician's early years toiling in obscurity—picking up tricks from circus acts, hustling to learn how to wriggle out of handcuffs. But the journal's script was so cryptic that it took years for fans to decode its secrets.
Photo Illustration: NGM Staff. Source Photo for Illustration: Bridgeman Images

In the world of Houdini fanatics, just a handful are considered top scholars on the mysterious performer, and they follow each other’s work closely. Chief among them is the actor Patrick Culliton, who likes to say he ghost-wrote Houdini’s autobiography, by which he means the 1997 two-part Houdini Unlocked that stitches together the magician’s first-person stories. Then there’s Joe Nataro, who runs a blog specializing in Houdini’s movie appearances and fiction writing. And Bill Kalush, founder of New York’s Conjuring Arts Research Center and author of the authoritative biography The Secret Life of Houdini. Recently, sportswriter Joe Posnanski entered the fray, authoring a book entirely about Houdini's superfans.

And then there are the collectors of Houdini’s artefacts. David Copperfield, the most famous magician since Houdini, has a collection so complete it includes everything from Harry H.’s bathtub to his personal library, bookshelves and all, which are displayed in his private museum in Las Vegas. “If he stood in one spot he’d see his entire life surrounding him,” Copperfield said to National Geographic of the space. Long ago, Copperfield said, he took a valuable lesson from his idol’s success: to capture imaginations you must tap into something deeply human. For Houdini, that was escaping. “The things that really resonate are the things people have already in their dreams,” said Copperfield. “That’s what I learned from Houdini.”

Averbook, who began collecting as a student during his surgical fellowship in Maryland, had gathered an impressive array of artefacts over the years, but little had been seen outside the minuscule world of magic collectors. So when Averbook and Caveney decided to publish Houdini’s diary, they went directly to the obsessives—starting with John Cox, who felt like he’d been preparing for the task his entire life. As a young kid, he’d become enthralled by his father’s stories of a man who could escape any constraints. Cox hadn’t been raised with religion, but to him, Houdini felt like a miracle worker. He first began drafting a book on his hero at age 12. In high school, he handed out business cards with the title “Houdini Enthusiast,” and performed escapes in a tailor-made straitjacket. For years, he had been slotting every morsel of information on Houdini—mined from books, newspapers, and first-hand sources—into a document on his computer that chronicled the magician’s life week by week. Once, he asked a therapist to help him understand the roots of his obsession—they were both stumped.

Using digital images of the little red book, Cox began the daunting work of decoding Houdini’s shorthand. He crosschecked entries in the diary with his chronology spreadsheet, starting with an amusement park show in Dayton, Ohio, on June 14, 1897 and ending with the word “Los Angeles”—which marked Houdini’s triumph as a vaudeville headliner—on June 25, 1899.

As Houdini moved across the country, a lost world of turn-of-the-century circus troupes and vaudeville circuits emerged in his diary entries. Houdini was learning acrobatics, recording stunts and accidents, and admiring his fellow performers. But the people, theatres, and locations scribbled down were only a fraction of the story. So Cox enlisted helpers who specialized in the circus, in early 20th-century history, in magic and in old-fashioned handwriting. Some were Houdini fans; others friends of friends. Together, they helped him recover words, names, and phrases lost to time, often crowdsourcing the most obscure and illegible entries. The “3 nudos,” for instance, turned out to be a trapeze act—and one of the acrobats had fallen from the bar.

One former circus performer named Jessica Jane looked at a note Houdini made about a turning a somersault without “the mechanic.” She recognized the reference instantly as an apparatus still used by acrobats to help them practice flips.

For a particularly tough entry—“Rode wheel like a Prof.”—Jane set the picture as her phone’s lock screen, hoping that the message would come to her if she saw it consistently. Eventually it was cracked: Houdini was bicycling like a professional while vacationing in Bridgeport, Connecticut. As they worked on the diary, Jane also took Cox to Circus Vargas outside Los Angeles, so he could experience one of the last family circuses left in America, a final remnant of Houdini’s world. The performers there still toured and lived as Harry and Bess had some 125 years earlier.

Though many biographers paint this period in Houdini’s life as frustrating, the illusionist was getting critical training in sideshow skills. From the Japanese Akimoto acrobat troupe, he learned how to swallow and regurgitate tools such as lock picks. From contortionists he picked up tricks to help him escape ropes and straitjackets. He wrote of constantly improving his act with new techniques, and the money he and Bess earned went toward marketing posters and photos. In the diary’s early entries, Houdini wrote of honing his soon-to-be famous handcuff escape. As he and Bess toured with circuses and performed in dime museums, he also began to appear at police stations, challenging them to restrain him. He succeeded all but once.

Young Houdini, many believed, was a serious man with a “titanic ego” who struggled in obscurity. At first, Cox feared his hero would be unlikeable. But as he read on, the opposite became apparent. Here was the real guy—not the myth—and he was charmingly relatable. As Cox and Jane puzzled through an entry in which Houdini described running away from bike cops, she texted, “It's like getting to become friends with him, and I love it!!!” “He's nicer, funnier, smarter, and a better overall person than I ever knew.” Cox replied.

Other entries required arcane knowledge, including one finally cracked thanks to input from an expert on silent film star Buster Keaton, who advised Cox that the “Keatings” mentioned in the book were, in fact, the Keaton family. Meanwhile, Jim Steinmeyer, an illusion designer and magic historian, helped decode an entry from Monday, August 1, 1898, when Houdini made note of seeing a “hose team” at practice. Steinmeyer recognized it as a reference to a now-lost tradition in which firefighters would race in their wheeled hose carts, and spectators—Houdini included—would gather to watch. “The diary opened up this world that doesn’t exist anymore,” Cox says.

Old newspaper clippings also came in handy. Throughout the diary, Houdini mentioned a figure called “Lewis the count,” whom he appeared to be tracking. But the count’s identity was impossible to crack. Cox was stumped. Then, one day, as he looked through an 1897 issue of Pennsylvania’s Freeland Tribune, Cox finally found the man who was traveling with Houdini in the Welsh Bros. Circus. In each new town, Lewis would visit the local newspaper offices, proclaim his aristocratic title, and announce that he was searching for a wealthy wife to ensure a comfortable retirement.

In reality, the “count” was a colourful character named H. Stanley Lewis, who specialized in creative publicity. Even though the newspapers seemed aware of the ruse, they gladly ran articles on the boisterous charlatan. Houdini watched Lewis carefully, perhaps internalizing a lesson: newspapers would apparently publish a good story regardless of its truth. Later in life, Houdini strategically applied this knowledge as he toured the world to drum up local interest in his challenges and embellish stories of his feats.

And then there were the entries chronicling Houdini’s private life with his wife, Bess. And once Cox dove into those, he made a discovery that would change the story of how Houdini really became a legend.

Bess Houdini was no sidekick. Like her husband, she radiated moxie and street smarts. They met in Coney Island in 1893, where they were both performing. Until Bess retired from their act in 1908, the two would remain partners on and off stage. In theatres, they would pair up with a wide range of talents: sometimes performing as spiritualists conjuring the dead; others as a singing and comedy duo.

In the diary, Bess was an omnipresent figure. They were young, in love, and seemed to live a carefree life, despite financial struggles that sometimes left them without enough money to even get to their next gig. In one entry, the twenty-something couple was out on the town, dancing until 2 am at a “cakewalk” where couples tried to outlast each other to win a piece of cake. Another night, they painted the town with advertising posters for their show until nearly daybreak.

During his decoding efforts, Cox discovered a startling 1908 article in the Pittsburgh Gazette Times called, “Where a Mr. and Mrs. Act Didn’t Pay.” In it, Bess described how she transformed her husband into a solo star—a key role that no biography had ever detailed.

After their second circus tour as a magical duo, the Houdinis found themselves in a rut. Bess proposed a revamped act: instead of joint billing, they should rebrand her husband as simply “Houdini” the escape artist. She urged him not to give up on the handcuffs, and on their dream of performing on the esteemed vaudeville stages.

“[T]he following week “Mr. and Mrs. Houdini” disappeared from the program and the single word Houdini had taken their place,” the article read. “From that time dates the rising tide of Houdini’s fortune.”

Over the next year, this routine would catapult the couple from small-town attractions to big-city headliners. But first, an embarrassing failure: in the inaugural show to bill the singular “Houdini,” at the Palm Garden Beer Hall in St. Paul, Minnesota on March 6, 1899, the couple lost the key to the trunk with Bess locked inside. Harry had to break the locks to set her free. Yet the next few shows went smoothly—and that’s when they caught the eye of a German vaudeville booker named Martin Beck, who was visiting from Chicago.

Beck took Houdini to dinner and advised him to ditch the magic tricks but keep the handcuffs. Then he offered him a try-out for the Orpheum, one of the largest theatre circuits of the day. After shows in Omaha and Kansas City, Beck sent him to the flagship in San Francisco where reviewers honed in on the young sensation, ignoring the more famous actress billed as the headliner.

“The handcuff act seemed like a scam in dime museums,” Cox says. “Put him in a respectable house and he's the Beatles: so new, fresh, handsome and funny.”

A month later, Houdini’s $20-a-week act was raking in ten times that salary. In the diary he noted that Bess bought a new dress. They would never play another dime museum again.

But Houdini very nearly missed his rendezvous with fate at the Minnesota beer garden. And it was all there, detailed within the diary, as Cox eventually learned. Indeed, Harry Houdini was supposed to be playing another gig that night. But on March 2, it was cancelled. The magician despaired, writing in his diary, “shattered all my air castles and spoiled 20 weeks work.”

As he worked on this diary entry, Cox texted Colleen Bak, a midwife who writes Houdini-inspired poetry and previously tended to his grave in Queens. Knowing her knack for deciphering Houdini’s messy scrawl, Cox would often text photos for her to work on. “I think he is being figurative,” Bak back. “Castles in the air can be a way of referring to something you are dreaming about or hopeful for.” They realized that he was mourning the missed opportunity during one of his lowest moments yet—unaware that this would lead directly to his big break. Cox responded: “Had that not happened, we may never have had Houdini.”

From there on out, the diary chronicled Houdini refining his handcuff act, as he began to understand what the audience wanted. “Mon april 21 1899 - first time i took off h cuffs with curtain open was the hit of the act,” reads one diary entry. The public lapped up the visual suspense, never certain if the man on stage could pull off his superhuman stunts. Eventually, Houdini would evolve this act into unprecedented dramatic displays of endurance and strength, from prison escapes to jumping from a bridge, shackled, into icy waters.

The diary ended in July 1899—the whole month was left blank. Harry Houdini was too busy to write. That month, in San Francisco, he would escape from handcuffs at City Hall, and from a straitjacket in the Receiving Hospital. By the next year, he would be commanding stages across Europe and America. “He doesn't need a diary anymore to record every 10-cent expense, and his hopes for success,” says Cox. Finally, “he escaped obscurity.”

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/article/how-harry-houdini-superfans-deciphered-his-first-diary

Wednesday, October 28, 2026

5 Words Queen Elizabeth Wrote In Her Diary 2 Days Before She Left This World Have Finally Been Made Public

From boredpanda.com

By Louise Pieterse and Jonas Zvilius

For 70 years, every single night, without exception, Queen Elizabeth II sat down at a desk, picked up her fountain pen and wrote in her diary. It did not matter how late the hour was. It did not matter how exhausting the day had been. The diary was, as one former member of the royal household described it, an unmissable duty.

A record of events rather than emotions, because that, in almost every way, was who she was. Royal biographer Robert Hardman has now revealed what she wrote in that diary two days before she passed away at Balmoral in September 2022. It was five words. And they were completely, perfectly her.

The royal biographer has finally revealed the last entry she made, just 2 days before her passing


On September 6th, 2022, Queen Elizabeth sat down at Balmoral, the Scottish estate she loved above almost anywhere else, and wrote what would turn out to be her last ever diary entry. That same day, she had received newly elected Prime Minister Liz Truss, appointing her in what would prove to be her final public engagement after a lifetime of service.

Her private secretary, Sir Edward Young, had come to see her to help arrange the swearing-in of Truss’s ministers. And that evening, as she had done every evening for seven decades, she recorded it. “Edward came to see me.” Five words. Factual, precise and entirely devoid of drama, exactly as she had always written.

The entry was precise and down to business, just like people remember her to be



“Her last entry was as factual and practical as ever,” Hardman wrote in the updated edition of his book “Charles III: New King. New Court. The Inside Story.” She passed away two days later, on September 8th, 2022, at the age of 96. Doctors initially told her she wouldn’t make it past Christmas 2021, but she still defied the odds.

The Queen’s diary was never meant to be a window into her inner life. She made that clear herself. “I have no time to record conversations, only events,” she once told society diarist Kenneth Rose, a line that tells you almost everything you need to know about both the diary and the woman who kept it.

She still used a classic fountain pen and wrote in a leatherbound book


Each entry was written with a fountain pen using black ink. Each diary was leatherbound, marked with her royal cipher and numbered with a Roman numeral. They were, in every sense, the diaries of a monarch rather than a person. Meticulous, ordered, and designed to serve as an archive for historians and not a confessional for posterity.

Writing in the diary was always the last act of the day, every day, no matter what. A former member of the royal household told The Sun in 2019 that she wrote at a desk, never in bed, and that it was a routine she never broke regardless of how weary she was.

Her successor, King Charles, continues the tradition, but his notes are more personal than the Queen’s



King Charles also keeps a journal, though the approach is much less formal than his mother’s. Where the Queen’s diaries were structured, numbered and written with precision, Charles takes a different approach entirely. “He doesn’t write great narrative diaries like he used to,” a senior courtier told Hardman.

Instead, he “scribbles down his recollections and reflections” at the end of each day, a looser, more personal practice that reflects a markedly different relationship with the written word. The discipline is the same, but each monarch makes it their own.

There is something extraordinary about the fact that, two days before she passed away at 96, after a lifetime of public duty spanning seven decades and fifteen prime ministers, Queen Elizabeth sat down and wrote five words about a meeting with her private secretary.

Not a reflection on her life or a lengthy farewell. Just the facts of the day, recorded as they always had been, because that was what you did and she was not about to stop now. It is, in its own understated way, one of the most remarkable things about her. The diary did not change at the end. She just kept calm and carried on.

https://www.boredpanda.com/queen-elizabeth-last-entry/

Monday, October 26, 2026

Granddaughter of Korean independence fighter brings Korean history to US schools

From koreatimes.co.kr

By Hankookilbo 

I want to help Korean American students take pride in their roots while growing into members of American society.

At the first Korea Book Festival in Vancouver, Canada, which runs through Oct. 31, a very meaningful book was exhibited: "Jessie’s Diary," reborn as a graphic novel. On Oct. 8, a session was held where readers read the original work and shared their impressions, receiving a great response. The graphic novel has been introduced in French, Chinese and Japanese, and preparations are underway to publish an English edition of the original work as well.

"Jessie’s Diary" is a child-rearing journal kept for eight years, beginning in 1938 with the birth of the couple’s eldest daughter, Jessie, by Yang Woo-jo (1897-1964) and Choe Seon-hwa (1911-2003), a husband and wife who participated in the Korean Provisional Government.

Alongside their deep love for their family, the diary chronicles the provisional government’s life in exile, the daily lives of independence activists and anecdotes about prominent figures in the independence movement, including Kim Gu and Ahn Chang-ho. It has been recognized for its historical value.

The diary came to public attention in 1999 when Kim Hyun-ju, 54, the couple’s granddaughter and the daughter of Jessie Yang, the diary’s namesake, published it as a book. Kim currently lives in the United States and serves on the board of the Fremont Union High School District in California. In a recent telephone interview, she recalled her first encounter with the journal: “When I first saw the diary, written so carefully, one character at a time, it felt as though my maternal grandfather, whom I had never met, had come back to life.”

The original 'Jessie’s Diary,' a child-rearing journal written by Korean independence activists Yang Woo-jo and Choe Seon-hwa while living in exile in China / Courtesy of Woorinabi

The original "Jessie’s Diary," a child-rearing journal written by Korean independence activists Yang Woo-jo and Choe Seon-hwa while living in exile in China / Courtesy of Woorinabi

Kim learned of the diary in 1998, when she was pregnant with her first child. Her maternal grandmother, Choe Seon-hwa, entrusted her with an old brown journal she had carefully preserved. The lives and convictions of her grandparents, preserved in its pages, deeply moved her.

Having worked as a broadcast writer, Kim modernized archaic expressions and Chinese-derived words and added vivid recollections she had heard directly from her grandmother before compiling the material into a book. The publication celebration was especially meaningful, bringing together four generations of women: Choe, Jessie Yang, Kim and Kim’s first daughter, who was about 100 days old at the time.

The diary also changed the course of Kim’s life. After moving to San Francisco in 2000 to accompany her husband for his job, she became involved in Korean history and cultural education. At the time, even finding books about Korea in American libraries was difficult. She approached the Korean school her children attended and began teaching discussion-based history classes for middle school students in 2007, staying up through the night to prepare teaching materials. She eventually became a vice principal and then a principal.

Kim Hyun-ju serves on the board of the Fremont Union High School District in California. Courtesy of Kim Hyun-ju

Kim laughed as she recalled how she would raise her young children’s arms whenever she changed their clothes and teach them to shout, “Long live Korean independence!”

Another experience also sparked her interest in history education. She discovered that "So Far from the Bamboo Grove," a book centred on a Japanese girl near the end of World War II that portrays Japanese people as victims and Koreans as aggressors, was being used as instructional material in some California schools.

“I was deeply shocked when I heard that a Korean American student who had read the book felt ashamed of being Korean,” Kim said.

Working with fellow Korean school teachers and other members of the Korean American community, Kim urged education authorities to remove "So Far from the Bamboo Grove" from the list of instructional materials. In 2008, at the publisher’s request, the school district board finally voted to remove the book.

“I sobbed in the bathroom all by myself because I thought of my grandparents. I felt that this was why I had come to America.”

From left, Yang Woo-jo and his eldest daughter, Jessie Yang; Choi Seon-hwa and her second daughter, Jenny Yang / Courtesy of Woorinabi

From left, Yang Woo-jo and his eldest daughter, Jessie Yang; Choi Seon-hwa and her second daughter, Jenny Yang / Courtesy of Woorinabi

Since 2009, Kim has organized seminars on Korean history and culture for American teachers. Around 2012, she and Korean school teachers established the educational organization Echo Korea. She also runs the Young Korean American Academy, a summer camp for young people.

“I want to help Korean American students take pride in their roots while growing into members of American society,” she said.

Kim was first elected to the school district board in 2018 and won re-election in 2022. She is seeking a third term in the election on Nov. 3. Her dream is to one day meet her maternal grandparents and mother in heaven and proudly tell them about the path she has taken.

“My life’s mission is to carry on the spirit of the Korean independence movement. I will continue moving forward, using my grandparents’ lives as my compass.”

Works from artist Park Kun-woong’s graphic novel "Jessie’s Diary," on display at the first Korean Book Festival in Vancouver, Canada / Courtesy of Woorinabi

This article from the Hankook Ilbo, the sister publication of The Korea Times, is translated by a generative AI system and edited by The Korea Times.

https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/amp/southkorea/20261025/granddaughter-of-korean-independence-fighter-brings-korean-history-to-us-schools

Wednesday, October 21, 2026

Standup Jon Richardson on turning his dark teenage diaries into a tearjerking memoir: ‘I couldn’t sugarcoat those years’

From theguardian.com

While facing grief, illness and a very public breakup, the comic reached for his diaries – and found a happy kid who spiralled into despair. Inspired by a Nobel laureate, he wrote a frank, funny book about that boy and what he grew into 

‘I have accumulated a horrific amount of paraphernalia from my own back story’ … Jon Richardson now and during his younger years. Composite: Ray Burmiston; Sphere

It begins on Christmas Day, 1996: “It’s been a lovely day … I realised how much I love my family.” It ends three years later: “I’m lying on the floor in floods of tears and all I want to do is die.” Say what you like about adolescence but it is nothing if not an emotional tumult. “If I’d known as a teenager,” says the comedian Jon Richardson ruefully, “that I’d one day write a book about them, I couldn’t have bookended my teenage diaries with better quotes to show what a storm of shit those years can be.”

The book is The Teenage Diaries of a Stand-Up Comedian, and it has been two years in the making. Two years that, if not quite the hormonal rollercoaster the book itself records, have been quite the ride. The project is borne of a crossroads moment in the Lancashire man’s midlife, after he experienced bereavement, serious illness among family and friends, and the breakdown of his marriage to fellow comic Lucy Beaumont. The last was an inevitably very public ending, splayed across the tabloids, to a relationship which itself played out in public, courtesy of the couple’s acclaimed mockumentary about their domestic arrangements, Meet the Richardsons.

"It’s a handbook – a way to make sure your kids don’t turn into me"

“There was a lot going on,” he recalls, “some of which called for self-reflection, and some that was completely beyond my control – to do with getting to a certain age, when the people around you get frailer, and you start looking differently at your relationships with your parents and your own childhood. So I was in quite a reflective period anyway.” But in Richardson’s case, there was a specific focus for that reflection. “I have genuinely accumulated a horrific amount of paraphernalia from my own back story,” he says. An inveterate hoarder, the 44-year-old had cupboards full of detritus (ticket stubs, photos, certificates, VHS videos, letters and emails – and of course, his teenage diaries) salvaged from the early years of his life.

  A relationship that played out in public … Richardson and his then wife, Lucy Beaumont, in 2019. Photograph: Murdo MacLeod/The Guardian

“I felt like there must be a reason I’ve kept it,” says Richardson. “And perhaps the reason is that, one day, if you’re lucky enough to have the time, you can work out: what is of meaning, why did you keep certain things, what can you afford to get rid of? That’s the journey of the book really. It’s in the present tense because it documents me doing the reflecting and the clearing out. But it’s about those first 20 years and how much of them you carry over.”

While writing, the comic deep-dived into teenage memoirs from Rae Earl’s My Fat, Mad Teenage Diary, via the works of Nobel prize winner Annie Ernaux (thanked by Richardson in the acknowledgements), to the recent Coming of Age: How Adolescence Shapes Us by psychologist Lucy Foulkes. The resulting book may not be the one you’d expect from the neurotic standup once branded “the nation’s favourite worrier”, or from the team captain on Channel 4’s 8 Out of 10 Cats, or even from the presenter of popular documentaries about OCD. This is not a book to nestle snugly in the humour section of Waterstones, nor one that jauntily glosses the anxieties of adolescence.

“I’m always very aware my job is to make people laugh,” says Richardson, “and I hope there is plenty of humour in the book.” There is. Its structure – diary extracts followed by grownup Jon reflecting ruthlessly thereupon – offers Richardson endless opportunities for entertaining self-abasement. And there is nostalgic delight to be had in the period detail: “Blockbuster video, Tupperware parties and Ann Summers.” And there is droll dramatic irony too, as per Richardson’s favourite entry, aged 14, apropos of nothing: “I’ve decided that although I’ll probably end up being a teacher, I’d love to be a comedian.”

"A lot of kids just need to be told that it’s OK to be sad or struggling"

He says now: “But in terms of the emotions, I couldn’t sugarcoat what those years were. Very few people become comedians because they’re well-adjusted and just want to spread joy in the world. Going back to the 60s and 70s, and those people who now have BBC Four documentaries made about them, people tend to come to comedy through having unscratched itches, or to make amends for some shortcoming in themselves. And I’m no different.”

In the book, we follow Richardson’s teenage self from 14 to 17. “I think I watched Zack Morris on [the sitcom] Saved By the Bell,” he recalls, “and thought, ‘Oh, teenagers are supposed to keep secret diaries.’ But those early entries don’t have anything to say. I’m in my room playing Mario Kart most of the time.” At first, teenage Jon comes across as kind, bright, tentatively happy. But as time passes, his diary increasingly records a sense of isolation, frustration and low self-worth. He goes to a single-sex school. He feels ugly. He is growing up in a town – Morecambe, Lancashire – that seems to him like the dead-end back of beyond. His parents are separated and, in a book that is eloquent on poverty and class, money is tight.

    In a stir … Richardson on The Great Celebrity Bake Off in March. Photograph: Laura Palmer/Channel 4

These are all factors in Richardson’s spiral into a dark place. “There were an awful lot of happy times that I never wrote about,” he insists. But “very quickly the diary becomes a place to put the emotions that you don’t want to burden other people with, a place where you only talk about the struggle. It can become quite unhealthy.” In the book’s final chapter – ring-fenced from the earlier material, says Richardson, because it’s hard to be funny about – diary entries show teenage Jon considering suicide.

In 2023, alongside the former athlete Jessica Ennis-Hill and broadcaster Dan Walker, Richardson launched Bright Young Dreams, a fundraising campaign to support youth mental health – into which he will “put more of my energy over the next few years than anything else”. When I ask what might have made life more bearable for junior Jon, he would not, he replies, have changed any of the material circumstances of that boy’s life. What would have helped, he says, is “some understanding that it’s OK to be struggling and to be sad. A lot of kids just need to be told that, yes, it is really hard, these are difficult years”.

As the parent myself of a boy on the precipice of his teens, the book terrified me about what’s in store – while rallying my resolve to care for him through it. “If nothing else,” says the comic, “consider this a handbook for parents to make sure their kids don’t turn into Jon Richardson! That is a great gift I bestow on the nation.” But if his book offers a sobering reminder of the trials of teenagedom, it is also very affecting on family love. Its heroes, alongside the foundering teen centre-stage, are Richardson’s mum, dad and sister.

“You can’t talk about those years without bringing other people’s lives into it,” he says. “My main concern was protecting the privacy of people who haven’t chosen to write a book.” But his loved ones, off the page as on it, have been unstintingly supportive. “I write about my dad’s depression in the book, and I had to say to him, ‘Do you mind if I tell that story?’ And he said: ‘You do what you want to do.’” That conversation, says Richardson, was easy. Far harder for this working-class northern male was having to address his family about – ugh – their love for one another. Towards the end of the book, he reprints an email from his sister, sent at a fragile time of Jon’s life, that is so trenchant and loving in its support of her wee brother, that I couldn’t read it without welling up.

    ‘Now I take a difficult emotion and, instead of blurting it out on a page, I convert it into punchlines’ … Richardson performing in 2015. Photograph: Publicity image

“It had the same impact on me,” says Richardson. “But my sister doesn’t know yet that it’s in the book. I haven’t been able to have that conversation. It’s easier to just put it in and not talk about it. ‘I love you. It’s in a book, so it’s a fact. Bye!’”

Now living a life his teenaged self could scarcely have dreamed of, is Richardson still keeping a diary? He is not – give or take the purely factual records he keeps, in an array of journals behind his head on our Zoom call, of his every gig since taking up standup in 2003. Grownup friendships and counselling have all supplanted the role diaries once played in his life. “They ended,” he says, because “I started going to the pub and hanging out with people.” And then he discovered standup, which was “transformative”.

“My approach to standup has always been: ‘How do I feel at this moment, and how do I package it in a way that’s interesting and amusing?’ It’s like a house conversion, like walking into a dilapidated wreck and turning it into something presentable. I take a difficult emotion and, instead of blurting it out on a page, I get to talk to people every night who’ve had similar experiences, and convert it into punchlines. And I can see people laughing and having a good night because I’ve confronted this emotion. And that,” says the tormented teenager, the teacher manqué turned comic and now memoirist, “has done wonders for my wellbeing.”

The Teenage Diaries of a Stand-Up Comedian: One Man’s Journey Into His Embarrassing Past is published on 22 October