Wednesday, March 30, 2022

1942: Churchill's darkest hour

From historyextra.com

If 1940 was the year in which Winston Churchill’s reputation was forged, 1942 was the one in which it was almost destroyed. Taylor Downing chronicles a terrible period for the prime minister – both on the battlefield and in the court of public opinion



On Saturday 14 February 1942, Japanese forces advanced to a point just a few miles from the city of Singapore. But in a corner shop in the Yorkshire town of Dewsbury, the conversation was about events much closer to home. Two days earlier, three large German warships, the Scharnhorst, Gneisenau and Prinz Eugen, had sailed up the English Channel and passed through the Strait of Dover in broad daylight. It was the one topic every customer in the Yorkshire grocery store wanted to talk about. “What have they been doing to let them ships escape? They’ve made fools of us, haven’t they?” exclaimed one woman.

The fact that Britannia no longer seemed to rule the waves – could not even stop German warships from passing within a few miles of the white cliffs – caused indignation. “By gosh, it’s time we bucked up, what with one thing and another – there’s only the Russians doing owt,” commented one male customer. “They wouldn’t have let them slip, you can bet.” Meanwhile, a woman complained that “it happened under our noses”.

These words were noted by the sales assistant, who was keeping a diary for Mass Observation, the social research project that recorded everyday comments by people across the land. Such remarks, plus other data, were used to provide regular assessments of morale for the Home Intelligence unit of the Ministry of Information. Today, Mass Observation records offer a unique insight into the concerns and attitudes of British people throughout a tumultuous year of the war.

A series of blunders and abysmal communication failures had allowed the German warships to pass within a few miles of the English coast. It was a humiliation for the Royal Navy. The press erupted in outrage, and the normally loyal Daily Mail led the charge with an attack not just on the government but specifically on the prime minister, Winston Churchill. Up to this point, most government criticism had avoided attacking Churchill himself. But now the Daily Mail asked: “Is it any longer true to say that we trust the prime minister, though we do not trust the government?”

Singapore surrenders

More bad news arrived that same weekend. After two months of retreat down the length of the Malay peninsula (what’s now mainland Malaysia), on 15 February the supposedly impregnable fortress of Singapore capitulated. Almost 100,000 British and imperial troops yielded to a far smaller Japanese force. It was the largest surrender in British history.

No one could hide a sense of shame – including the prime minister, who later said that the fall of Singapore was “the greatest disaster to British arms which our history records”.

Japanese troops advance through Burma (now Myanmar) in 1942
Japanese troops advance through Burma (now Myanmar) in 1942, following their invasion. (Image by Getty Images)

On becoming prime minister in May 1940, Churchill had also appointed himself minister of defence. Every aspect of Britain’s military performance came under his supervision. He was responsible for the strategic direction of Britain’s war effort, so could not escape blame when things went wrong.

On a Royal Air Force (RAF) base at Digby in Lincolnshire, a young Women’s Auxiliary Air Force (WAAF) officer detected a new tone among her colleagues after the surrender of Singapore. As a Mass Observer, she dutifully wrote down what she heard. “Up to now,” she recorded, “the government has been criticised often, but always with the reservation ‘Churchill’s all right’. But now Churchill is condemned with the rest.”

Britannia no longer seemed to rule the waves. It could not even stop German warships from approaching the white cliffs

As one young WAAF said: “A month ago, if people had been talking about Churchill like this, we’d have called them fifth columnists, but now...” One of her friends said: “It’s time we had a new government – Churchill’s taking too much upon himself these days.” Another was reported as saying: “He roared all right in his time, but he’s outlived it.”

Churchill was thrown into a mood of despair by the disasters of that fateful weekend. After a cabinet meeting on 16 February, Foreign Office civil servant Sir Alexander Cadogan wrote in his diary: “PM truculent and angry – and havering [vacillating].” The next day, Churchill told the House of Commons that he would not allow a debate on the fall of Singapore, aiming to avoid a public discussion at such a tense time “in a mood of panic”. MPs were outraged. Labour MP Frederick Bellenger told the prime minister that “there is in the country, and indeed in the house at the present moment, a feeling that we have not got the right kind of persons to direct this war to a satisfactory conclusion... we have not got the right kind of government.” At this, the house cheered.

“Papa is at a very low ebb,” Churchill’s daughter Mary wrote after a private lunch with her father later that month. “He is not too well physically and he is worn down by the continuous crushing pressure of events. He is saddened – appalled by events.”

Outclassed again

The military disasters continued throughout the spring of 1942. In Burma (Myanmar), British and imperial troops were once again totally outclassed by mobile Japanese forces. After the capture of Rangoon on 9 March, British-led troops retreated 900 miles across jungles, mountains and ravines. When they crossed into India at the beginning of May, they looked as “gaunt and ragged as scarecrows”, according to their commander, General Slim. It was called the “longest retreat” in British history, and it left the Japanese at the gates of India.

The 'longest retreat' in British history, from Burma (Myanmar), left the Japanese at the gates of India

When a Japanese naval task force of five carriers and four battleships sailed into the Bay of Bengal at the start of April, panic ensued. In three days, 23 merchant ships sailing between Madras (now Chennai) and Calcutta (Kolkata) were sunk. Many began to fear that an invasion of India was imminent. An Eastern Fleet was hastily assembled but it was no match for the Japanese navy and their dive bombers, known as “Vals”. Two British heavy cruisers were sunk off Colombo in Ceylon (Sri Lanka), and a light carrier and a destroyer went down outside Trincomalee. All of the ships were lacking effective fighter cover. The admirals seemed to have learned nothing since the loss of HMS Repulse and the Prince of Wales four months before – sunk by Japanese bombers in the South China Sea with the loss of hundreds of lives.

Churchill was plunged further into despair by the devastation inflicted by the “Vals”. When RAF bombers failed to score any hits on the German battleship Tirpitz, lying up in a Norwegian fjord, he sent an angry note asking for an explanation of “how it was that 12 of our machines managed to get no hits as compared with the extraordinary efficiency of the Japanese [air] attacks?”

Under siege

Back in the Mediterranean, the island of Malta was under intense siege. In the early months of 1942 the British naval base was put out of action, and the cruiser squadron and submarine flotilla based there withdrew. Continuous air raids – sometimes more than a dozen in a day – devastated the island’s three RAF airfields. The city of Valletta was pulverised, its narrow streets reduced to rubble, and many of the island’s architectural jewels were destroyed. One convoy bringing supplies had to turn back. Three vessels of another convoy finally got through, carrying vital supplies of food, ammunition and fuel. But as Maltese dockers unloaded these ships, the Luftwaffe attacked again – and within 72 hours all three vessels had been sunk, with most of their precious cargo lost.

Supplies did, however, continue to reach the Eighth Army, which was contesting the see-saw desert war fought up and down the Libyan coastline. A huge base was built up around Gazala and Tobruk, with vast amounts of fuel, rations and ammunition. Infantry units were brought up to strength, and armoured brigades were re-equipped with new tanks including American Grants. In Cairo, General Claude Auchinleck waited for supplies to arrive but his foe, German general Erwin Rommel, was less patient.

A field gun bombards German tanks during the second battle of El Alamein, an Allied victory that turned the tide of the war in the desert. (Image by Getty Images)
A field gun bombards German tanks during the second battle of El Alamein, an Allied victory that turned the tide of the war in the desert. (Image by Getty Images)

On 26 May, he launched an offensive at Gazala. At first it faltered, and there was an opportunity for a counter-stroke that could have smashed the German and Italian forces. But Eighth Army commander General Neil Ritchie hesitated and, by the time he attacked, Rommel had reorganised his position. By 8 June, 220 British tanks had been knocked out, including many of the Grants. Churchill cabled Auchinleck from London: “Retreat would be fatal. This is a business not only of armour but of willpower.”

Sadly, the necessary willpower was lacking. Ritchie led a retreat to the Egyptian border but ordered Tobruk, well supplied and garrisoned, to hold out, as it had done the previous year. Rommel had a different idea. On Saturday 20 June, he launched an assault on the garrison. Following a shattering air raid, his engineers advanced to clear mines for his panzers. By afternoon, they had reached the harbour. The following day, the British surrendered. In 1941, Tobruk had held out defiantly for eight months. In June 1942, it collapsed in just one weekend.

Churchill was at the White House with President Roosevelt when the news came through. Some 33,000 British-led troops had surrendered to an Axis force of perhaps half that size. Churchill was shattered. “This was one of the heaviest blows I can recall during the war,” he later wrote, adding: “Defeat is one thing. Disgrace is another.”

Summer of discontent

Across the country, faith in Churchill’s leadership was crumbling. Mass Observation reported that July was “a month of discontent and disappointment”, recording a 55-year-old man as saying that: “We’ve made a balls of it everywhere.” A middle-class woman keeping a diary for Mass Observation in Hampshire recorded a neighbour saying that “she thought we would be under German rule here before too long”. Another friend “pleaded guilty to having lost faith in Churchill”.

The military debacles created a major political crisis for the prime minister and his government. One MP picked up “an atmosphere of disappointment, bewildered rage and uneasiness” in the house. A vote of no confidence was put down. The Labour MP Aneurin Bevan summed up the mood of many with a memorable aphorism: “The prime minister wins debate after debate and loses battle after battle. The country is beginning to say that he fights debates like a war and the war like a debate.” Despite the rhetoric, Churchill easily defeated the no confidence vote.

A friend of Churchill opined that: 'If we are beaten in this battle, it’s the end of Winston'

However, a credible alternative leader had emerged. Sir Stafford Cripps was an austere figure and an able communicator who captured the mood of the nation at this point of the war. Moreover, having been ambassador in Moscow until the beginning of the year, he cleverly associated himself with heroic Soviet resistance to the German invader, in contrast to repeated British failures. Mass Observation recorded that he was seen as “the first alternative leader-figure since the fall of Chamberlain”.

With a new offensive due in Egypt, Churchill desperately needed a military victory. Brendan Bracken, a close friend and supporter, said to a colleague: “If we are beaten in this battle, it’s the end of Winston.”

After a tense few months, though, Churchill finally got what he needed. In early November, Montgomery’s Eighth Army smashed the Axis forces at Alamein. Four days later, in a campaign dubbed Operation Torch, US troops landed in French North Africa (in what’s now Morocco and Algeria). The fighting in the desert was a long way from being over but victory looked increasingly certain. Churchill’s standing quickly revived, and by mid-December a Gallup poll recorded that satisfaction with Churchill’s leadership had been fully restored.

It was an upbeat end to an awful 12 months. 1940 is usually viewed as Churchill’s most difficult year as prime minister, marked by the fall of France, the Battle of Britain and the Blitz, but in fact it proved to be his “finest hour”. It’s often imagined that from that point he enjoyed plain sailing along the long, slow route to victory in 1945. But that was not the case. Churchill’s blackest hour came in 1942.

When, in 1950, he dictated his memoir-history for this period of the war, he described the long run of disasters in 1942 as “galling links in a chain of misfortune and frustration to which no parallel could be found in our history”. He reflected that, if he had been dismissed during the year of military disasters, he would then “have vanished from the scene with a load of calamity on my shoulders”. But Churchill survived. Military victory brought a revival of his political fortunes. As he later wrote: “Before Alamein we never had a victory. After Alamein we never had a defeat.”

Taylor Downing is a writer, historian and broadcaster. His latest book is 1942: Britain at the Brink (Little, Brown, 2022)


https://www.historyextra.com/period/second-world-war/1942-churchill-darkest-hour-reputation-public-opinion/

 

Friday, March 25, 2022

Diary from Ukraine’s struggle

From voxeurop.eu

A group of students from Lviv, a major city in western Ukraine, are keeping a collective diary for Voxeurop. As far as the situation allows, they write about the Russian army's attack and its impact on their daily lives 


25 March 

My generation

Kateryna Panasyuk

What will happen after the war? Ukrainians don’t ask this question. We ask: what will happen after we win? It makes such a little difference verbally yet such an important message stands behind these words. Ukrainians don’t give up or give in, cowardice is not an option here. Oh I do get a rush when I say this, you know. It’s true. 

Personally I would say there aren’t more than one or two things I love more than my homeland; this land, even this soil itself, is truly the dearest to me. A colleague of mine, Alex from Kharkiv, recently said “What will I say when my children, nephews, grandchildren ask about the war and my participation in it? Will I say that it was interesting, but somehow it passed by me because I spent most of it listening to lectures via Zoom and working on deadlines? Seriously?!”, it was a thought of his in the context of our conversation about studying during war. 

It surprised me, I never thought everyone has these thoughts, but it turns out they do. I prefer to keep learning, but the thought of children… Every time I feel like giving up, I remember my generation must be the last one to suffer from Russian imperialism. Our children will not, their children won’t either. They will live on this land freely and they will love it so very deeply.


24 March

Daria’s grandpa and the news

Hanna Shypilova

Daria is 19 years old. In 2014 she and her parents were forced to leave their home city, Luhansk, because of the Russian invasion. Now they live in Kyiv, whereas her grandparents moved to Russia. This particular day has separated them not only territorially but also mentally and politically. 

On 24 February the war came into Daria’s life for the second time. Her grandpa called them in the morning, wondering how they were. 

“Later, we heard a loud explosion next to us. There were already some videos of it on the Internet and at that time Kharkiv was already being heavily bombed. We sent the video and photo to my grandfather, to which he replied that it was all fake. He spoke with all those phrases that are imposed on Russian television: our President Zelenskyy is a drug addict, we are bombing ourselves. All the rest is nonsense for him.”

Daria’s grandpa always supported Russia. He even tried to pursue her to study in Rostov, because life with “Ukrainian neo-Nazis” is unacceptable to him. 

“He does not miss a single news release, and there are morning, afternoon and evening ones. We have not been able to convey the truth and reality to him since 2014, and now everything has only gotten worse. I don’t want to put up with this, but he became a real victim of propaganda. I still respect and love my grandparents, because they are my family. But while he is watching Russian propaganda, he supports everything that is happening now in my country, where children, women and other civilians are being killed.”


23 March

A Story from Mariupol

Hanna Shypilova

“There was no access to drinking water in the city for more than a week, so we started going to the river to collect water.  One day when we went to the river and the shelling began. We were lucky, but a shell killed three people who were higher up the hill. On the way back home, we saw many people covered with sheets. They were killed by shells”.

That is the story of a 30 year-old Julia, published by Hromadske. Julia has lived in Mariupol all her life. On 24 February, when Russia launched a full-scale war, the first shells were dropped on her city. Since 2 March, the local people's task was to survive without connection and access to water, gas, and electricity. Only on the 20th day of the war, an opportunity to leave Mariupol appeared. 

“I went with my boyfriend and his sister. We cooperated with several other young couples with children. We heard that the road is dangerous, part of it is mined, but it could be seen. There was no thought about whether it was scary to go or not: every day we went to bed and did not know if we would wake up. When you know that there are people who have left, you have hope.” 

Now Julia is in Zaporizhzhya, but more than 300,000 people in Mariupol still need food, water, and medicine, while the Russian army is blocking access to humanitarian aid.


21 March 

Bohdan, volunteering on the Ukraine-Polish border

Khrystyna Dmytryshyn

“When Russia started a full-scale invasion of Ukraine, I dedicated my time to helping Ukrainian refugees at the Krakovets checkpoint. There, more than 2,000 people cross the border daily. The hardest work is when it is cold outside. You have to inform all the people with small children in line that they can go to the tent where it is warm, they can drink tea and eat well”,  Bohdan, a young Ukrainian volunteer, told me.

“As volunteers, we always carry small children in our arms to help the parents. Those scared kids are shaking because they are freezing. At night, we put them to sleep with their parents at our volunteer base, where they may warm up. We also give refugees clothes and help to find a doctor. There are many Polish doctors whom we help with translation”, Bohdan added.

“I remember very well one man leaving the country with his two little daughters. It was cold outside, but he did not want to enter our warm tent. However, he agreed later on. He talked quietly and kept a stone face. The man was running away from Kharkiv because the Russian army had destroyed the apartment where he lived. His wife died of cancer a few years ago, and he had to prove this fact with a document to be able to cross the border. I think he was ashamed to leave, but he had to; he is the only parent to his daughters. I think he will come back when we win.”


20 March

Children of war

Marta Belia

From time to time, the local volunteer centre, where I go to help, organises activities for children. Usually, participants are children from our city, but there were many displaced children this time. Children who were forced to leave everything because of the Russian aggression. They are the same children, they are just as enthusiastic about drawing and running, but you can see that the eyes of these kids have already seen the war and felt its consequences.

The war affected them personally. They are very cheerful and talkative, but there is a sense of adulthood in their words. These children calmly and thoughtfully speak about relatives: fathers, grannies, siblings – who remained in the hot spots, who refused to leave.

They describe how they heard the explosions and how they left their cities. I could barely hold back the tears as I listened to them, but they continued the story calmly. They are still so small, but a lot has happened to them, and they endured it bravely.

I have to admit, I cry and stress because of less horrible things: the air alarm in the middle of the night, horrible news I read; but these children are calm and balanced, although they have suffered much more.

That's why these children impressed me. I'm sorry that the war forced them to grow up too soon, but I'm stunned by their resilience. And I really want everyone who took their childhood away from them to be punished.


18 March

Studying in times of war

Kateryna Panasyuk

It’s incredibly difficult to study now, but I’m happy to do it. It happens that my family and I are blessed with relatively quiet skies and the warmth of our own home – for now. Every night my city, Lviv, wakes up to the sound of sirens. Every night I get yanked out of the warmth of my bed by a horrible rush of adrenalin, change clothes, put on the warmest socks, grab my backpack and run down 8 floors to spend up to 4 hours in a cold bomb shelter. Regardless of all this, my mind is still thirsty for knowledge. It’s always been, but now it’s fuelled with anger. There is no way I will let Russia stop me from reading and learning. There is no way I will let anyone make me useless or less intelligent. I’m not too strong physically, I can’t shoot well and I’m no doctor. But when the time comes, I want every Russian to pay the price for what they did and every Ukrainian to live in a country they deserve. Who else will do it if we stop learning now?

Olexandra Besarab

I understand very well why my university is resuming studies, it is really necessary

But personally, my story – I can not do it. I can't study, not at all. I feel like I'm wasting my time just because the information doesn’t reach my brain, because my head is full of other things.

Nikita Vorobiov

The format which is now practiced in my university works well for me. All lectures are being recorded, so I can always watch a recording when it’s convenient. For example, a student can work during the day and study in the evening. There is also a big relief regarding the deadlines: some assignments were postponed or taken down completely. There is not too much pressure on students now. I live abroad now, no running down to the bomb shelter for me now. But we will see how it goes next week when I come back to Ukraine. For now I think we simply cannot afford to stop studying in these circumstances.

Roman Rozhankivskyi

I feel this bottomless fatigue. My mind finds comfort in involuntary deafness. I hear sounds, but I don't catch their essence. It's as if I'm falling asleep to the voice of the lecturer. And the noise of the Zoom call drives me crazy. I don't have the strength to think about homework or the curriculum. It is difficult for me to develop now. Sometimes I ignore people because of oversaturation with stimuli. And sometimes I experience a phantom air alarm. It feels like it's about to begin. I hear high-frequency sounds and it becomes so scary.


16 March

Nikol, seeking for help in Mykolaiv

Khrystyna Dmytryshyn

Today, I'd like to share this excerpt I translated from a story I've read on Hromadske, an independent news outlet. It was written by Ksiusha Savoskina, and I believe it tells a lot about the situation in Mykolaiv:

“Hi, my name is Nikol, and I need some warm clothing,” said a girl coming to our volunteer centre in a small town in the west of Ukraine. We started opening boxes for her, showing all kinds of sweaters and coats, but she ignored that. Nikol picked a blanket for herself and one for her 2-year-old sibling. “Can you imagine that a small part of a ballistic missile fell right by my high-rise in Kyiv?”, she said with fear and excitement at the same time.

After we hardly gave Nikol two packages of warm clothes, her mom came to the room. When we brought her hair care box, the woman’s hands started shaking terribly, and she cried. “I did not wash my hair for almost two weeks. I cannot even remember what shampoo I used to buy. I am afraid to take a bath and leave my children alone. I hear bombing constantly in my ears. Did you hear it tonight?”

It was the second day the family was spending in Mykolaiv, a small town in the Lviv region. That night, the Russian missiles bombed the Lviv region for the first time. So far, I have concluded that seeing refugees is the most complicated and emotionally painful thing you face during your life. Especially when those refugees are running away from the war that is going on in your country, and you cannot even assure them that the country’s region they came to is a safe place.”


15 March

Two testimonies

Anna Valchuk

Today, I want to share the testimonies of two girls I met earlier in Lviv:

Nadila, 21: "I’ve started volunteering at the Lviv railway station since the early days of the war. At the beginning of that experience, I was highly offended by any reproach, raised voices, pushing, or cursing. First days on the railway station were chaotic: both in people’s heads and on the platforms. That mess exacerbated all the feelings. I burst into tears many times for various reasons: for someone is leaving and someone has to stay; for there are those hastily rushing forward, and others humbly waiting for hours when their turn comes; some are sincerely grateful, and some think what is given to them is not enough.

What struck me most was the short dialogue with a girl my age who was leaving on the fifth day of the war. 

She met me, shook my hand, and said with a friendly smile, 'Thank you for what you’re doing.' 

I cried."

Diana, 19: "After my university became a shelter for students’ families from cities where hostilities occur, it was my first time I got acquainted with many refugees. Besides, many friends volunteer at various spots, including refugee centres.

Many of them join the volunteer community at the university – and that’s great! 

After all, it allows going the limit, even after resuming studies and work. People are mainly relatively calm, sensible, and happy to talk. Children are primarily cheerful and active. 

In my opinion, Lviv welcomes people from other regions with great dignity. Residents open many hosting places on their initiative, even in gyms, studios, etc. And many people I know personally provide shelter in their homes. Those who have a car regularly help people get from the station to the border."

14 March
Sorry for not sending new material yesterday. I will send more today. Our region had an air strike for the first time. We are okay, but it is somewhat difficult to keep my schedule going with 4+ hours in a bomb shelter. Sorry for the delay once again. – Kateryna

10 March

Maternity Hospitals and Infirmaries as Military Targets

Alina Voronina,Vira Saliieva

While Russians are claiming they only damage military targets, more and more Ukrainian civilians, including women and children, suffer from the bombings every day. The maternity hospital and the children’s hospital in Mariupol were bombed by the Russian military forces on 9 March.

At least 3 people died, with 1 child being among them. There are 17 injured people, and the obstruction removal still continues.

“How did [those hospitals] threaten the Russian Federation? Were there Bandera children there? Pregnant women were going to shoot at Rostov? Did someone in the maternity hospital humiliate Russian-speakers? What was that? Denazification of the hospital? This is already beyond atrocity," said president Volodymyr Zelensky in his speech. He also claimed that the air bomb thrown on the maternity hospital is the major act of the genocide of the Ukrainians.

Innocent people all over the country just like us, simple students, are beyond terrified with the ruthlessness of the attack. "They crossed all the borders a long time ago, and I thought that none of their actions could impress me anymore. I was wrong”, says Oleksandra Besarab. She is a second-year politics student at Ukraine Catholic University (UCU), and Mariupol takes up a special spot in her heart; she took part in the ULA course there. “A maternity hospital. I can't even get my head around it. When I was scrolling through photos and videos, I felt nothing but emptiness and pain that couldn't be expressed through words. We won't forgive. For every child who wasn't given a chance to be born and explore life. For every mother who lost the most precious gift she had. Nothing on the Earth could justify this."


7 March 2022

We Are Ukraine, and We Love Freedom: A Strong No to Evacuation to Russia

Hanna Shypilova, Khrystyna Dmytryshyn

Sunday, March 13, 2022

The "war coffee" diary: How one woman in Kyiv is recording history with a real-time feed of the impact of war

From cbsnews.com

Yaroslava Antipina prefers her "war coffee" black — no sugar. Every day, she sips on the cup, watching a deadly assault unfold outside her window as her life strays further from the one she has always known. 

Antipina has turned her Twitter account into a real-time diary of what it is truly like to be an "ordinary" person living through war, documenting her experience and posting photos since she awoke to the sound of explosions in Kyiv more than two weeks ago. With multiple updates every day, she has amassed more than 82,000 followers as she details the constant rollercoaster of emotions, thoughts and experiences. 

It all started on February 24: "11:45 p.m. in Kyiv. We decided that if we'll sleep a little only fully dressed. The backpacks are ready." 

yara-suitcase.jpg
Yaroslava Antipa posted this photo on March 1 as she and her son prepared to leave their home in Kyiv amid the war. YAROSLAVA ANTIPINA

She and her son tried to stay in Kyiv, stocking up on food and staying indoors with only the sounds of explosions breaking a stressful silence. Antipina's mother, who lives in western Ukraine, had been calling her, crying and worried over the situation. Five days after the invasion, they decided to go be with her. 



The day they left, March 1, Antipina posted a photo of a small, grey hard-shell suitcase. 

"It's all I can take with me. All my life is [in] this bag," she tweeted. 

This moment has stuck with her ever since. The suitcase, she told CBS News, represents the despair in leaving a sense of normalcy behind. 

"I don't know, still don't know, if I can return. It's not just the things, the belongings. It's about memories, people, everything I had," she said. "My coffees, my just regular days, all the things I cannot have with me, I couldn't take. I know that I'm lucky because I know people moved without anything, just in clothes as they are." 

Antipina  says she would give anything to go back to that time. Any problems she dealt with don't seem like such a big deal anymore. 

"War is a problem," she said. 

Moments before leaving their home, Antipina took a final look outside their window — a view of Kyiv's newly barren streets as people hid and fled amid freshly-fallen snow. She said that day was the first time it had snowed in Kyiv all February. 

"11:02 am somewhere in Kyiv. It was the last view from my window. My broken heart is crying," she wrote on Twitter. "...We're escaping." 

Before all this began, Antipina said she had an "ordinary" life. She started every morning with coffee and sweets. She worked both in the office and from home during the week, and on weekends, would enjoy a cappuccino, listen to podcasts and read books. Above her apartment lives a "sneezing man," whom she has never met, has no idea what he looks like, and yet often ponders over in her Twitter diary, wondering how he's doing throughout the war. 

fnbkhuyx0aqp7on.jpg
Yaroslava Antipina tweeted this photo on March 4, saying, "6:10 pm in #Ukraine. Decided to add day by day no make up selfies to my Twitter war diary. The reasons: - I want to keep chronological face moods - I really don't know how much life for me left." YAROSLAVA ANTIPINA

She didn't realize how normal her life was at the moment. Now, very few people roam the streets of her city and children are rarely seen in public. It feels as though "years" have passed, she said.

When CBS News spoke with Antipa, she and her son were in her mother's home, trying to keep some sense of what she calls "that" life.  











"It's two different lives. In that life, I had peace. I had my regular activities. And in this life, I have a war," she told CBS News. "I will never have that life back because I have changed. Our cities have changed. We [Ukrainians] have changed." 

In "this" life, her sister and her sister's three young children have fled the country. Her son, 19, has not joined Ukraine's territorial defence forces, but has said he will if and when it becomes necessary. 

"If he comes to fight, to the territorial defence or to the army, I will join too," she said. "It's impossible for me just to sit here when my son is fighting. It's impossible. ... It's scary because your only child will be in the war." 

Antipa often talks about her "war coffee" in her tweets. There's nothing physically unique about the drink, but it acts as a tangible reminder that everything she craves, loves and desires is fragile, as every passing moment of war could bring a more difficult circumstance. 

The coffee, along with the photo of her last look outside her Kyiv apartment and her and her son's dream of traveling the world with a cat they will name "Victory" — "Victor" if it is a male, and "Victoria" if it is a female — are her "little things of hope."

"War coffee is resistance. Strength," she said. "...We Ukrainians need such things to survive, to be strong. Because for me the very hard thing right now is the uncertainty. You don't know what's going on the next day, next week. But we will manage. ... We have no choice." 

People from all around the world have responded to her tweets with their love, and their "peace coffee" in hand. Photos of coffee mugs have flooded her replies from Tennessee, Seattle, Illinois and countless other places. 

Keeping the diary has helped her cope with the situation and remember how things have evolved. But, she said, it's also for future generations. 

"To show them what the world really is, for you, for us, for ordinary people," she said. "...It's not about only blood, et cetera, but how our life can be changed in one second, and how important [it is] to keep this peace. And how important [it is] to be strong in any situation." 

"But [it's] also for them to be strong, to enjoy life and to keep the peace everywhere in the world, in every country. It's very important because the world is owning everything — families, lives, homes, hearts, everything." 

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/ukraine-war-coffee-diary-yaroslava-antipina/