`DISASTER DIARY’ MAKES READER ERUPT IN LAUGHS

From businessinsurance.com

By Kathryn J. Mcintyre

Every new year I receive an assortment of diaries and calendars from business contacts. One of my favourites is a hysterically funny pocket “Disaster Diary” sent by reinsurer TIG Reinsurance.

What could be so funny about a Disaster Diary?

Everything, if the diary is the product of TIG Re Executive Vp Mark Hinkley.

Mark Hinkley is the Mark Russell of the reinsurance business. His witty commentary on the reinsurance business and its celebrities, often sung to familiar tunes, delights attendees of the Angus Robinson Jr. Memorial Golf Tournament every year. He’s also been persuaded by reinsurance crowds to take over a piano bar to share his songs. I’ve never been able to report on these performances, as they are strictly off the record.

But Mark annually goes “on the record” with the TIG Re Disaster Diary, which is sent to brokers, clients and others who appreciate irreverent commentary on the business of reinsurance and inside jokes.

This year’s Disaster Diary is vintage Hinkley.

The “Special Securitization Edition” opens with a dedication to “you pioneers of the sure-fire, supercool and inescapable convergence of old-fashioned reinsurance and high rollin’ high finance. It’s particle physics meets the motor heads. It’s Revenge of the Nerds Part II (Part I was e-mail).”

Under “Warning,” the TIG Re Disaster Diary advises: “DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME or with YOUR OWN MONEY. Leave it to the professionals who know how to discount, compound and obfuscate with other people’s money. They’re the ones smoking the cigars before the deal is closed.”

Fittingly, the Disaster Diary recalls the Reinsurer’s Prayer: “God, grant me the knowledge to understand the gross, the patience to calculate the net, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.” God’s reply is reported as: “Let me check with Aon and get back to you.”

The Disaster Diary is so named because the dates of major disasters are noted, from the Dec. 28, 1908, earthquake in Messina, Sicily, to the Jan. 7, 1996, blizzard that struck the Northeastern United States, as well as the wind, hail and tornadoes that hit Denver on July 11, 1990, to name just a few.

Upon closer reading, other notable events are recorded in the fine print: “Jan. 1, 1937: First Reinsurance Transaction. Jan. 2, 1937, First Reinsurance Transaction cancelled mid-term.”

For Elvis Presley fans, his death on Aug. 16, 1977, is noted, as is: “Aug. 23, 1978, Elvis spotted pumping gas in Mobile, Ala.,” and “Aug. 30, 1980, Elvis spotted eating cheeseburgers in Los Angeles.”

And there is more in the back of the diary. Where other diaries offer metric conversion tables and other such reference material, the TIG Re Disaster Diary offers such useful information as “TIG Re Rates the Rags.” I’m proud to report that “Business Endurance” obtains the highest rating of four owls, for its “sizzling ambush journalism.” I won’t report on the other ratings, in case other publishers lack a sense of humour.

The diary also offers a glossary. A few of my favourite definitions are:

*Accident Year: A year like 1997, when satisfactory results were published accidently, because no one checked the math.

*IBNR: I buy no reinsurance.

*Net: Amount of money left after everyone else has leased a Mercedes car and joined a club.

*Nett: English spelling, whereby even less money is left.

*Reinstatement: Hit me again.

There’s more than I have room to report in this column to tickle the funny bone, including, “The Renewal Song,” to be sung to the tune of “Cabaret.”

If you aren’t lucky enough to be on the mailing list for the TIG Re Disaster Diary and I’ve whetted your appetite for more, write to TIG Re in Stamford, Conn. There are still some copies available.

I’m desperately hoping that this is not the final TIG Re Disaster Diary, following the purchase of TIG Holdings Inc. this spring by Fairfax Financial Holdings Ltd. and the subsequent merger of TIG Re into Fairfax’s Odyssey.

If the Disaster Diary dies, that would be a real disaster.

Publisher and Editorial Director Kathryn J. McIntyre’s commentary appears fortnightly.

https://www.businessinsurance.com/disaster-diary-makes-reader-erupt-in-laughs/